Review: Piranha 3DD

by on June 1, 2012 >> MoviesReviews

There’s no way I can act like is a good movie, it’s not trying to be. is trying to be a fun movie and for a while it is. It gets in with a silly plot, some nudity, sex and violence, a dash of comedy and gets out just soon enough that you can’t complain about it’s length, lack of content or and cohesive plot. At just over 70 minutes, the movie never wears out it’s welcome, but it comes ever so close to that border.

It’s been a year since the events of the first film and now a new group of people, working at a water park are starting to find that maybe this now well known and documented Piranha attack is starting to spread. The how or why these deadly fish come to a water park really boils down to the fact that a water park is easy to contain, shoot in and clean. It’s not the gigantic public lake that the first film was in, and it’s the center piece of the entire story.

Maddy (Daniell Panabaker)is a young woman who’s mother used to run The Big Wet water park before she died. Now Maddy’s step father Chet (David Koechner) runs the park and is determined to turn it into a wild sex romp for adults in the new “Adult Pool” section of the park. This is where all the insane nudity, sex and insanity happens including a camera at the ladder of the pool, showing everything as women climb out. Why there are just so many women who think it’d be a great time to go to a water park and get naked for no money is beyond me, but it’s part of what the movie is promising to sell with it’s title. One by one Piranha start to take out cast members in interesting and silly ways and it all ends with a blood bath similar to the first film where familiar faces show up for a second.

The biggest problem with the film isn’t actually the cheesy special effects, the short length, the cast of unlikeable characters or even the nudity. It’s the lack of coherence in the story. Explanations for what certain characters are doing and why seem to be missing entirely and I’m not sure how some gigantic events in the last act happened. Maybe I was too mesmerized by the shots of women with gigantic breasts running in slow motion, or the insanely over top amounts of blood, but there’s a moment when a character causes an explosion with a joint and I have no idea how it happened.

For a movie with a title of 3DD you’d think the film would have twice the violence and sex, or budget of the first film but you’d be wrong. Piranha 3DD feels like a much smaller film in every way. I’m expecting an unrated version to be released in the future that I’m positive will have more nudity and sex but I doubt it will have the violence. There are some kills in the film that are graphic, to a point, but nothing of the level of the first film. The parasailing scene in the first film with porn star Giana Michaels was modern b-movie classic and everyone I know talked about it. There’s nothing quite on that level here. Most of the violence consists of some one being bitten and then a shot from out of the water with blood everywhere.

It’s weird for me, a person who likes smart art house films as well as b-grade horror, to complain about the nudity and violence in a film, but it is part of what this series is about. If you can’t deliver up to the standards you set before and fill the blood lust of the public then is your movie a success?

I’ll say this… some of the celebrity cameos in the film from actors like David Hasselhoff and Gary Busey were funny to a point, but I don’t even know what the point of Busey’s cameo was. It had nothing to do with the rest of the movie and didn’t even seem to take place in the same area. If it’s connected at all I’d need to be told how.

Over all this film is a decent 1 dollar rental at your redbox when you have some guy friends coming over. It’s goofball comedy more than it is horror. It’s never once scary and even a scene that should make every guy cringe just made me smirk quietly to myself.

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